Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
