I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
