Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
