Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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