Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
