I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
