i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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