seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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