he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
