I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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