Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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