I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Randomize