That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
