I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
