Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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