Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
