went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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