Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
