should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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