they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
