Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
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