Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Randomize
