Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize