problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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