the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
