Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
