He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
