Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
