I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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