she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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