You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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