Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
