Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize