I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
