And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
