the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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