I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
