Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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