I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
