Don't you send me to vm
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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