Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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