I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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