i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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