i think my tv is drunk
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
