Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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