my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
