direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think my moral compass just broke
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
