Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
