There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
