I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
