We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
