he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
