I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is wine microwaveable?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
