do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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