I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Less talking, more tequila
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
