This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
