Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
