so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
