Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
