North Korea, Best Korea!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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