This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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