just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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