If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize