think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize