Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
no more duck duck goose at the bar
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
