I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
