would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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