he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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