Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
