Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
