Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize