I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
