so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize