is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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