I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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